A miracle is a shift in perception from fear to love– Marianne Williamson

When my overall energy is soft, open, trusting and loving, I palpably feel my connection to the Universe and “in the flow”. In fact, I sometimes feel my wondrous love affair with Life/Nature/The Universe, as an ecstatic yet grounded high.

In contrast, when I get contracted, in my head and tell myself  ‘sad stories’, I feel disconnected, negative and ‘off’.  That’s when life is not nearly as fun or yummy.

This awareness isn’t anything new, but since my recent visit to Rishikesh, India, the depth of my awareness of this correlation has been heightened.  Think low res vs. HD.

Now that I’m back home, a big part of my integration is keeping my heart open even (especially) during challenging moments.   And right now my life is providing plenty of opportunities to exercise my heart-opening muscle.

One of my most intimate relationships is undergoing a major transformation.  What I’ve known and relied on for a long time is shifting and I feel super vulnerable.   In the past, I would have automatically, unconsciously put up defenses and shut down in an attempt to protect myself.

There are still parts of me that want to keep my heart safe by closing up like a little sea anemone avoiding danger.

But  now, more than ever, I know I have to make a conscious choice to STAY OPEN.

I choose Love!

I know that choosing love and cultivating positive energy is the most important thing I can do.

The more positive energy I feel the more positive energy I get.

The more negative energy I feel the more negative energy I get.

Basic law of attraction.

The flow of love/positive energy gets blocked when I shut down, so in order to create a joyful and fulfilling life I have to keep my heart open to allow positive energy to flow through.

But, just because I know it’s in my best interest to stay open and loving doesn’t mean it’s easy.  In fact, it can feel like a full on warrior work out, requiring on going vigilance, discipline and devotion.

So exactly how do I stay open when my heart is quivering in terror that it’s going to get crushed and my entire fight or flight system is screaming ‘Danger, Danger’ or when my teen son makes a snarky comment that pisses me off and shuts me down?

Here’s a simple process:

  1. Take a deep breath – it calms the nervous system
  2. Accept what is happening – resistance is futile anyway and what you resist persists.  Acceptance is essential.
  3. Take another deep breath
  4. Become aware of the sad stories and worries the mind/ego/painbody are making up and realize they are not true. They are those parts trying to ‘protect me’ by triggering my ‘shut down system’ (like the sea anemone) as well as my inner ‘Drama Department’ writing tragic stories. Ah, how we humans can get hooked on drama!
  5. Chuck those sad stories and worries out the window!  Really, let them go.  You may have to repeat this process dozens of times, but eventually,  as you re-write your story, you’ll create new neural pathways.
  6. Another deep breath – see the pattern? you really can’t have too many of these!
  7. Give thanks and really feel it for at least three things for at least three minutes.  Gratitude gives you instant access to positive energy. Yay!
  8. Close your eyes, soften your body and face and lovingly focus on your heart and allow it to slowly open.  Allow sweet Source energy to flow through you relaxing, softening and nourishing you.  Imagine your heart as that sea anemone gently opening to receive nourishment from the ocean waters.
  9. Trust that wellbeing is flowing to you and that the Universe adores you.
  10. Enjoy the feeling of your open heart.  Well done! Congratulate yourself on transmuting Fear into Love. You are a powerful Love Warrior!!!

I use this process many times a day for all the little and BIG things that may otherwise close me off from the flow of love.   It’s my sincerest desire that it helps you keep your heart open as well!


If you’re ready to take your heart opening juju to the next level and you want support on your journey, reach out to me here to schedule a Yummy Living Discovery. We’ll explore how I can help you.

For more on Transmuting Fear into Love check out Turning Pain into Peacefulness

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